I keep going out and drinking and promising that I’ll go home and write, or at least crossing my fingers that I will. It’s been four days since I left Minnesota and each day I keep coming home and playing the same old song. I had it in my head all day- it’s the one from Goyte.
I bought a book today- I looked all around Aromic and went through my favorite collection of their music biographies. Then I caught the book rep staring me down for checking out the Madonna one. I hurried up and bought this fake real story by Thomas Pynchon, with a cool cover painted with fake neon lights. I felt like I was at a hotel somewhere .
I keep wasting my time at night- or at least that’s what I lie at night thinking about… I keep looking for places to
go out, but all I settle on are the places that I used to go . I still meet people , but then Noah will call, or Tim and I’ll get all lovey dovey to them and it will scare guys off.
I know that classes start in two weeks but I’m doing everything I can just to party and be myself and do nameless things in the mean time. Like Sarah’s party. That was fun-eating sprouts and playing gin- with the drink and the board .
I tried calling Noah last night and then I wrote him a really long poem. I sent it at about 12 30 am, 1130 CST. And it was really gushy , like lengthwise , went on for awhile. I haven’t heard from him since I sent it and I know why. Id rather read tonight anyway so I’ll just ignore it of he calls.. I did that before and we wound up having to make up a bunch of times before I came up. Don’t want to try that again..wish he’d just work and try out at the YMCA- their pool is for the most part warm.
If I mail a letter in the next week, it’ll be to Noah in Minnesota. I’ll send the one with the lakes behind all the letters of the state, with the sun and blue water that I never got to see/saw. Deep down I’ll miss that coffee French house that he didn’t even come to. In fact I think I liked it better that he didn’t come to it, and still do. It was all white with square tables. I miss getting free Internet there.
If Noah visits the cathedral again , maybe he can put in a buck to say a prayer that the retainer I left on the chest behind his bed, makes it through the mail safely to my house . Thank Noah,