john was drunk as crap when he signed me up for this (his wedding)…i just took it as a complement. i think john likes sundresses and i just happened to be wearing one.  but john texted me back when i asked if he was serious about me coming  and also i was more friends with amanda, but it didn’t matter.  he asked me if i wanted to bring someone and i thought  i probably should.  but i thought i’d find someone in a double-breasted suit so i opted out.  i came alone and hoped to avoid noisy james (math teacher next door at patterson high).

so we went to george’s afterwards where “alexander” and i had  more wine and i was toasting with God knows who…all i know is that at some point i turned around looking for one of my friends who wasn’t gay and i asked them to take care of me because i kept kissing this guy “alexander”…(all the guys that are flops lately that i know are named that).  i even gave him my keys.   and  “alexander”  kept repeating things like “im picking you to raise my 14 kids because you have plenty of energy”…and i don’t know if it was divine intervention or what but i haven’t gotten (my —-) ever since.

man.  we went upstairs because they were all depending on me to give them a ride to john and amandas (they were the ones getting married)’s house and i was all for it because it was huge and i wanted to see every last corner of it. but then of course you know “alexander” wanted to get physical and i tried all the “im a reborn christian”, “im living with someone else right now” thing, but he just let all the barriers slide.  i guess i try my hand at a southern accent when i get around someone else who is…but i lived up to my excuse.  i think the finale was when i said i was gonna throw up all over him…and i really was..

well anyway…i tried not to think about it while i was on my run the next morning, i even got up early. he asked me to come over and i just kept thinking “im seeing my parents in two days for the fourth of july”…i got back to him too late.  i was hoping he had a plane flight or something, but it turns out he was staying over for another day.  so i just filled up my time with other things, like re-caulking my bathtub, and taking flower seeds that looked like roses, next door to Janice.  “alexander” left the next day, even though i texted him in the afternoon sometime, like around 11, saying that “yeah, sure lets get together”.  i crossed my fingers that he wouldn’t and so he never wrote me back.  guess i’ll just have to find a beach bum down here by the jettys ( florida)….


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