wishlist: 10 commercials

would you buy these?  i would..in a heartbeat

1. a beeper for my remote control.  there’s a ghost in my condo that steals it everytime i try searchin for it to change the channel to HGTV

2. a buzzer on the Little Penguin bottle of wine everytime we pick it up to finish it before the week is even over

3.an alarm that barks like a dog everytime my cat is about to go to the bathroom outside his litter box

4. exterior-friendly posters of freddy crueger  for my outside window so people will think something just as scary is behind my window, so don’t try breaking in

5.an environmental site that asks you to donate all of your unwanted mail

6.a febreeze fragrance that smells like johnny depp has just come back from the beach

7. an alarm clock with david duchovny’s californication voice that wakes you up with “hey gorgeous, your panties look cute.  get up so i can get a better look at em….”

8.underwear with benecio del toro’s name autograph signed all over the part where my butt is

9.a pop culture madness commercial that offers a mix of all the bands that ever debuted on 90210 (i.e. the Flaming Lips, Color Me Bad, the Cardigans, the Cramps)

10. a fanny pack…i’ve lose my credit cards and lisences ever since those started going out of style…

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