i was supposed to go to passover on friday night but i missed that since i was working all day and forgot to check the time: 5p.  i don’t know who i offended more, my father or the rest of the catholic congregation for being a jew and wearing my star of david necklace.  i drove by a church that looked like a castle, snooped around and found out all of a sudden when loud music started to play that a service was starting so i stayed to find out.

i read the whole catholic liturgy book before the priest even started and when he read through the stations i started hearing myself saying “hurry up” thinking of the chinese food that andrew and i were gonna split before he went to boston. well about the church: ive sort of thought that confession was neat and i wanted to you know.. so i could let go of when i’d slept next to (not…) with 2 different guys last week. but i tried to put that out of my mind so i just clicked down and out the hallway in my easter heels instead.

going to church started up a whole thing because i started asking things like, why have jews and christians hated each other so much? and  so i turned on the day vinci code which happened to be on the FX, and then this opened up a whole other bag of worms.  for example, did you know that Mary Magdalene might be buried under the nave in the Louvre somewhere?

well i watched tom hanks walk all over it and now im ready to go there see it for myself.  and did jesus christ really have a daughter?  i bought into all of this stuff and i couldn’t go to sleep at night wondering if constantine’s ghost was gonna come roaming up all over the place because i wasn’t sure about jesus or this divine intervention thing. but still … i woke up at 8 30 glad that i was still alive and that ghosts hadn’t gotten to me.  at least not yet…

maybe stuff i wasn’t supposed to do on easter by the way….

see the  couple in the pew next to me kissing

saying “f–k, ass—-, god da– it, etc, etc.” when i lost my keys trying to get on into the easter service on time

being so happy that i got a parking spot till i saw that i’d driven over a broken window shattered into a 100 pieces

stealing two cupcakes and leaving the social hour before i had a chance to say hello to any of its members

donating a quarter and keeping my dollar when the offering bowl came around

turning my back, chewing on my nails, and thinking how low my bank account was when i was supposed to shake hands at the “meet and greet”

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