i was at a place that didn’t serve food and i was so hungry that i ordered a cocktail. it was a bourbon-bacon-maple syrup one, just so i could have something to eat
i got a nose-ring just to have something more painful to think about than from aching questions: “did i get into grad school?”
i stayed up with my cat all night typing up symptoms i should look for when they eat way more food than they should. i did it just so i didn’t have to sleep next to the weird guy i let stay over
i came up with four new emails so that i could write to my rabbi. he’d been writing depressing speeches and i wanted him to do more funny ones
i went to an interview for a bogus company where i’d get paid to do minimum wage for doing cold calls. i went so i could stare at the manager fielding me questions and respond to them in ways that made him feel stupid
i used one of my fake emails to my ex boyfriend pretending that i was a girl down below. the fake girl said: “stop walking around without underware in your apartment, we can all see you”
i also wished that the guy i was seeing wasn’t gay cause i was happy at the end of our dates when he wanted to go home and not have sex. now i found out that i think he is gay and i’m proably the only one around who doesn’t wanna give “it” up.